Last Monday, my third and final (yes, for sure) daughter prised herself out of my arms that were wrapped around her too tightly and with far too much desperation and happily walked into the clutches of the state education system.
I didn’t shed a tear, I didn’t stand there forlornly hoping some equally bereft parent might want to go for coffee, I simply turned, walked out of the gate and headed home. Not until my bottom hit the sofa, with the television remote, the ipad, my phone, a cup of instant coffee and a notable absence of food – because I was fasting that day – did it hit me. I’m redundant. That’s it. The years of preparing for a family, then the pregnancies, the births, the nappies, the weaning, the terrible twos, and threes, and fours tantrums, the childcare dilemmas, all done and dusted, just like that.
To repeat a question, I have been asked many a time in the last few months, ‘What am I going to do with myself?’, I thought. Firstly, I set myself a challenge. £2 term time teas (love alliteration), then I went and got my nose pierced, something I love the look off but in recent years haven’t had the courage to do. Shortly followed by pink highlights in my hair, this was an idea i’d been toying with for ages, but as with the nose piercing was always guided by others’ reactions when I told them I was thinking of doing it. Finally, after much helpful (and also not very helpful, ‘Why don’t you take in ironing?’) advise, here I am. Blogging.
I’ve always loved reading and writing and have long harboured dreams of writing a novel. Dreams I suspect, will plague me until I am too old and doddery to hold a pen….or see a keyboard. After I had my first daughter, Evie, I gave up my job as a recruitment consultant and went to university. As a mature (oh yes, at the ripe old age of 26) student, I didn’t have to be guided by what the career advisor, sitting behind her borrowed desk in the head of sixth form’s office, who had known me for all of five minutes, advised and could choose as I pleased. Naturally, not being an imbecile (at least I’ve been told Im not), I did use some common sense and chose a course that I knew, if nothing else would capture my interest and imagination and above all be enjoyable. As for using my new found literary prowess to get a job, well, two more children quickly followed, my husband was doing well at work and the job I got was Full Time Mummy.
Undoubtedly, the most rewarding, life enhancing and soul edifying job I could have asked for…..I refuse to add all the teeny weeny bad bits.
So, this will be a truthful, no matter how ugly (because we all know life isn’t always sweet), reflection of my life; my loves, my interests, my hates, my heartbreaks, the ups and downs, and the simple pleasures.
Thanks for reading. Lianne x